I turned 37 today. A strange number — not quite a milestone in the eyes of the world, but for me, it feels like one.
In the last 12 months, I’ve been broken open and put back together more times than I can count. Leaving Google stripped away the illusion of security. A divorce ended something I thought was forever. And a handful of other moments forced me to sit with myself in ways I hadn’t dared to before.
But through all that, I didn’t just survive. I lived. And maybe for the first time, I lived in a way I’m proud of. Not because everything was polished or perfect, but because it was honest.
Here are 37 lessons I’ve learned. They are not commandments. They’re reminders — from one soul in progress to another.
1. Grief and gratitude can coexist.
Some days I cried for what I lost. Other days I was overwhelmed with awe at the life I still get to live. I used to think you had to “get over” pain before you could feel thankful. But the truth is, some of the deepest gratitude I’ve ever felt came while my heart was still cracked wide open.
2. You’re allowed to start over, even in the middle of your life.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve already built something. If it’s no longer right for you, you can walk away. You’re not obligated to keep living a life that doesn’t fit just because it took you a long time to build.
3. Money is important, but time, peace, and purpose are richer currencies.
After the layoff, I realized I’d been using income as a proxy for success. But what I really wanted was freedom — to think, to heal, to create without fear. Money buys comfort, yes. But peace? That’s earned through alignment.
4. Therapy is not optional. It’s maintenance for your soul.
I don’t know how I would’ve made it through this year without therapy. It gave me language for what I was feeling and space to feel it. Your car needs a mechanic. Your spirit needs a witness.
5. A broken heart is proof you were brave enough to love.
I used to be ashamed of my heartbreak. But now I see it differently. A broken heart doesn’t mean you failed — it means you were courageous enough to open it in the first place.
6. Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation.
I learned to release people in love — to let them go without needing to bring them back. Some closures are silent. Some peace happens without a reunion.
7. Walk. Often. Alone. Without a destination.
Walking became sacred to me this year. It was a space where I could listen to my thoughts without distraction. I started noticing trees, the shape of clouds, the feel of my breath — and I started noticing myself again.
8. Your job is not your identity.
When I left Google, I felt like I lost part of myself. But over time, I realized that identity should be rooted in essence, not employment. You’re more than your LinkedIn bio.
9. Some friendships expire. That’s not betrayal. That’s seasons.
People change. You change. Some bonds strengthen with time, others fade. That’s not failure. That’s nature. Not everyone is meant to walk the whole road with you.
10. Joy is a muscle — the more you use it, the stronger it gets.
At first, joy felt like a luxury I couldn’t afford. But when I made space for small joys — music, dancing in the kitchen, laughing with friends — they began to stitch me back together.
11. Your body remembers everything your mind tries to forget.
I held so much stress in my shoulders, my gut, my chest. Our bodies are storytellers, even when our mouths are quiet. I had to learn to listen to it, care for it, and stop ignoring its whispers.
12. You don’t have to prove your worth to anyone.
Not through productivity. Not through perfection. Not through hustle. You were worthy the day you were born. Everything else is just performance.
13. Be kind to younger you. They were surviving with the tools they had.
I used to cringe at past versions of myself. Now, I try to hold them in compassion. That person did the best they could. You’re here because they didn’t quit.
14. You can be both healing and high-functioning.
I didn’t fall apart every day. I still showed up. But inside, I was healing — slowly, awkwardly, sometimes painfully. That duality is real. Let’s stop pretending it’s either/or.
15. Love is not a transaction.
It’s not something you earn by being perfect or doing things right. Real love is given, not bartered. And when it’s real, it doesn’t keep score.
16. Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re doors with locks you control.
Boundaries taught me who deserved access and who didn’t. Saying no protected the yeses that matter most.
17. Ask for help. No one makes it out of this thing alone.
I used to think independence was strength. But vulnerability — saying “I need you” — is actually braver. Let people in. Let them show up.
18. Rest is productive.
Some of my best ideas came after naps. Some of my deepest healing came from staying in bed. We are not machines. We are soil — we need stillness to regenerate.
19. When in doubt, go outside.
The world inside your head is sometimes a trap. The world outside — the sky, the trees, the wind — it reminds you that life keeps going, and you can too.
20. You’re not behind. You’re on your own damn timeline.
Comparison is poison. Everyone’s journey is customized. The sooner you stop measuring your life against others, the freer you become.
21. Create something that doesn’t need to go viral.
Not everything has to be seen. Some things are worth doing just because they make you feel alive. Paint. Write. Build. Make.
22. Talk to your parents like people.
They carry regrets too. They have stories. Seeing them as full, flawed humans changed everything for me.
23. Not everything broken needs to be fixed.
Some things are meant to fall apart. Some endings are mercies. Let them be.
24. Drink more water. Seriously.
It sounds dumb. But when I was sad, tired, foggy — water helped. Sometimes what feels like an existential crisis is just dehydration.
25. Love people while they’re here.
Call them. Visit them. Tell them the truth. Don’t wait for the eulogy to write your love letter.
26. Solitude isn’t loneliness.
I learned to enjoy my own company. To make meals for myself. To be enough, without needing to be surrounded.
27. You can be proud of surviving and still be sad it happened.
I made it through things I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I don’t romanticize the pain — but I honor the endurance.
28. Say “I don’t know” more often.
We don’t always need answers. We need curiosity, humility, and the courage to keep asking better questions.
29. You don’t always need a plan. Just a step.
Some of my best moves weren’t mapped out. I just took the next step, then the next one. Direction reveals itself.
30. Silence is an answer.
So is distance. So is inconsistency. Believe what people show you, not just what they say.
31. Fall in love with your morning.
I started waking up early not out of discipline, but desire. Mornings became sacred — a place to hear myself before the world got loud.
32. Nobody knows what they’re doing.
We’re all winging it. The ones who look like they have it together are just rehearsing their own script. You’re doing better than you think.
33. Success feels different at 37 than it did at 27.
I don’t chase clout anymore. I chase calm. I want meaningful work, not just impressive titles.
34. Your worth doesn’t decrease when your relationship status changes.
Being single isn’t a deficiency. It’s just another way to be whole.
35. Hold space for joy — even in the mess.
Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Find joy in the cracks. It belongs there too.
36. Tell people you love them. Even if your voice shakes.
Don’t assume they know. Say it. Say it often. Say it out loud.
37. You’re still becoming.
I thought I’d be “figured out” by now. But I’m still unfolding, evolving, softening, growing. And honestly? That’s the best part.
If you’re reading this, thank you for being here.
Here’s to being 37 — not perfect, not finished, but fully alive.